I realize I haven't been that present on this site in the past few months. Half of this is due to Tumblr, music and art, and the other half from life in general. The holiday season has prompted a laid-back but quite busy winter break full of numerous family events and outings. Though it's only been a little over a week since break started, it's felt like forever. I've had fun this break but the return to everyday life will be welcome.
I celebrate Christmas; I think most of you have seen by now the charming depiction of Our Lord and Savior Santa I posted to commemorate it. In all honesty, I have enjoyed the season very much. Bright lights, homemade cookies and 50s music are the stuff nostalgia is made of. It was nice to spend a good week with my family and my kitty cats. However, I've found it increasingly difficult as I grow older to get into the "holiday spirit," as it's called, but the time off has still been nice. The days leading up to Christmas were spent drawing fantasy and listening to the Pixies; I can't complain.
The days following Christmas have melted into a sort of semi-productive sludge from which I've found it hard to escape-- without school I feel like I've lost my sense of purpose. I wake up every morning, go for walks, read books, listen to music, eat, sleep, eat sleep, eat, sleep... life goes by quietly. I appreciate the free time but end up feeling thoroughly unfulfilled every day. I miss my friends and I miss having responsibility. And I recently had my PSAT scores returned to me, which were discouragingly mediocre (at least by my standards), so that doesn't help too much. However, I have enjoy the surplus time to draw, during which I've picked up digital paining again and am slowly improving on, the time to listen to lots of new music, and the opportunity to appreciate the beautiful winter weather.
The past year, I'm happy to say, has been quite a journey. I went from being depressed to angry to disheartened to content to somewhere I would actually call happy. I've made a few great friendships and gotten better at math. On my birthday people always ask me if I feel any different, and I always tell them I never do. This year, however, I feel like I'm a very different person-- not necessarily more mature or any more ready for the world, but different. Hopefully I will be able to harvest all the fruit Sweet Sixteen has to offer... maybe finally take my driving test and get my license. I'm not expecting any 4.0s or any girlfriends or any human contact or anything crazy and outlandish like that, but with some time and effort maybe I'll get a little closer. I'll look for colleges, watch my brother start high school, watch my sister start preschool, get into a new subgenre of 90s alternative rock; watch people and places collide with myself and each other and then drift away like tectonic plates. I'll brace for impact.
30,000 Pageviews and Final Gratz
Welp, I made it. 10,000 pageviews in roughly eight months, with the latter 5,000 in less than four. I thank all my various watchers and friends on DA who made this possible-- even if I don't talk to you guys much anymore, I very much appreciate your dedication to my chronically sporadic account.
I wish you all a happy new year (whenever it may be or may have been), and hope it ends up as something to be proud of.
See ya in da Hood,